Definition of Abuse
DEFINITION OF ABUSE
Abuse crosses 'all' the borders of race, sex, religion, age and culture not to mention both economic and educational status. While it is important to realize that both men and women are susceptable to abuse by the cruel hearts of the world - it is also a statistical fact that abuse towards women and children far out number abuse towards men, by the millions.
Abuse also comes in many forms such as physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, psychological, financial and more - with women, children and the elderly being the most common victims. Statistically, the most poverty stricken group of people in the entire world - are women. This is because women are so commonly oppressed and either not allowed to work, or their work is restricted to lower paying jobs, or they simply are paid less. In countries where women are not allowed to attend school or work and a husband dies - she is left to try and care for her children by begging on the street side or turning to prostitution.
Even here in the United States, millions of women are prevented from attending school by abusive or controlling husbands and are then criticized for not contributing financially, or for needing the husbands funds to survive. Of course as stated, there are cases of the female abusing the male and I will never deny that fact. Abuse is abuse and it is all cruel - including animal abuse. Causing a human or animal to cower or hide in fear is a digusting problem in the world.
It infuriates me - there is no reason, nor excuse, for women to be treated with such disrespect and cruelty.
The following list is a longer definition than most people are interested in reading, however - if you want a thorough understanding of the many ways in which abuse occurs whether blatant or subtle - this is it.....
According to Webster's New International Dictionary - Unabridged - Second Edition is defined as:
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to misuse
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to put to a wrong purpose or use
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to misapply
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to pervert
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to make a wrong use of authority
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to make an excessive use of authority
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to maltreat
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to hurt
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to stress excessively
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to tax (to place a burden upon) excessively
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to falsify
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adultery
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to deceive
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to impose upon
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to dishonor
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to violate
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to defile
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to reproach coarsely
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to upbraid
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improper treatment of
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to misuse power
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harmful physical treatment
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corrupt actions
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to offend
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to use insulting speech towards
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foul language inflicted upon
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condemnation
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rape
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assault
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deception
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bitter attack
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sharp consistent scolding
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public humiliation or scolding
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It breaks my heart to say that abuse towards women in marraige is so common that in order for most people to even acknowledge it, it has to darn near result in death. This is a world wide tragedy and the U.S. and Christian churches are not exempt from the commonality of it.
The secrecy, fear and embarrassment of various forms of abuse keeps women, children and 'some' men silent - but silence does not equal non-existant. I am continually sickened by people who try to dismiss the numbers that truly exist by refusing to acknowledge these truths: That the vast majority of abuse never gets reported; and, that verbal abuse IS absue. Battering a person down with insults, rejection, incessant criticism and other verbally demaning things kills the soul which is RTsCh (Retsach). RTsCh is murder.
In addition it is important to recognize that we are each very unique creatures, we respond differently, we endure differently, we heal differently - while many women are united in having endured, many also are not when it comes to understanding other's pain and progress.
Shatan would love for you to think that you are all alone and that no one else would understand - and while it is true that each of us has thousands of moments of life that are unique and partially form who we are - it is also true that you are not alone. In fact - statistics show us that more women have experienced abuse in one form or another, than those who have not. That is the first lie of Shatan that needs to be broken when it comes to abuse. And even YHWshua understood abuse as he Himself endrued terrible physical and emotional abuse before His death on the stake.
What does the Word say about spousal abuse?
There has been much debate as to whether or not the following verse speaks of divorce, spousal abuse, both or neither. Based on the correct definitions of key words in this scripture we can easily see that yes - it 'does' speak about the maltreatment and disregard for the wife. Let's look....
Malachi 2:13-16
And this have you done again, covering the altar of YHWH with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, so that He does not regard the offering any more, or receive it with good will at your hand. Yet you say, "How"? 'Because YHWH has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously: yet, she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant and did He not make you one? Yet, if he the residue of the Ruwach. Why one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For YHWH, the mighty one of Yasharel, says that he hates the conduct: for one covers violence with his garment, says YHWH of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that you deal not treacherously.
- The word translated as treacherously is 'bagad'. It means to cover, to be deceitful, to offend and transgress against
- The word translated as 'putting away', or 'divorce' in most English Bibles is 'shalak' . It means to send away, to push away, overall conduct and behavior, to forsake. (Remembering that YHWshua taught us that all action begins in the heart and that to think something, or have something in our heart, such as adultery, is the same as the physical action. Therefore we must understand that 'pushing a spouse away' in cruelty, thoughtless disregard or selfishness is wrong whether done in mind, heart or action).
- The word translated as 'violence' is 'chamac'. It means violence, wrong doing, to oppress, to damage, unrighteous behavior, to be cruel
'Covering violence with his garment' in this verse means, on one layer that many abusers hide their abusive behavior behind their position and reputation (IE: their garments). Many abusers are seen by those outside of the family as quite wonderful being polite and helpful in their workplace or with friends. Yet in the privacy of their home or behind closed doors - they are in truth, cruel and thoughtless abusers. They 'cover' violence with their 'garments' whether that violence is physical, sexual, verbal or emotional.
People in many races, religions, educations, occupations and backgrounds - use their public persona to hide their true character - even non-abusers.
Literally millions of women around the world are pouring out their tears at the feet of YHWH because they are being abused in some form.
By teaching this scripture falsely, millions of women have chosen to stay with their abusive husbands because they are trying to honor YHWH and therefore think that they 'must' stay in an abusive situtation or the god they have been taught about will become angry or disappointed in them.
That is simply false and it is time for the lie to stop!! Even King Dauwid left his abuser in order to save his life because YHWH had plans for him! And YHWH has plans for his daughters also. He loves His daughters as much as HIs sons - in HIm there is no distinction!
Please also know that I in no way am 'promoting' divorce. only YHWH know is peoples hearts will change and if marraiges can be saved, restored or made a new in Him. but this is to say that the aboce scripture is specifically speaking of abuse towards a wife.
Colossians 4:19
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
In 1 Peter 3:7 we also read that husbands are to use the 'wisdom and knowledge' in YHWH to honor their wives as though the wives are weaker vessels. To care for them as though they are the most valuable thing on tihs earth in their lives; so that their prayers (the prayers of the husband) will not be hindered.
We repeatedly find in properly translated scripture that YHWH desires that husbands and wives love each other and be good to each other.
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While I have focused on spousal abuse towards women, women must also take responsibility for their own actions and words towards others. Remembering that misuse of power or authority is abuse, how do we treat our children? Do we take our anger, our pain or our frustration out on them? How do we treat those under our authority in the work place? We are responsible for our own actions and choices.
We also remember that even though statistics show abuse towards women is far more commn that abuse towards men - abuse does not recognize boundaries. Men, women, children, the elderly and animals are abused all around the world.
Abuse destroys lives, breakshearts and can even lead to devstating illness and death. And while we cannot force change upon others to stop their abusive behavior - we can as Chayil Ishah (Strong and Valiant Women) stand against it in YHWH's love, truth and strength.
Scripture also tells us that 'love does not harm'. Clearly we can see that YHWH does not condone the abuse of His daughters, nor does He condone abuse towards men, children, the elderly or any of his animals that He created. YHWH 'is' Love
Psalms 116:1-14
I love YHWH, because he has heard my voice and my supplications. Because he has inclined his ear to me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the pains of hell got hold upon me: I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the Name of YHWH; O YHWH, I beseech you, deliver my soul. Gracious is YHWH, and righteous; yes, our mighty one is merciful. YHWH preserves the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me. Return unto my rest, O my soul; for YHWH has dealt bountifully with me. For you have delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. I will walk before YHWH in the land of the living. I believed, therefore have I spoken: I was greatly afflicted: I said in my haste, all men are liars. What shall I render unto YHWH for all his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the Name of YHWH. I will pay my vows unto YHWH now in the presence of all his people.
Psalms 5:3
My voice shall you hear in the morning, O YHWH; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto you, and will look up.
Psalms 31:24
Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all you that hope in YHWH.
Only YHWH the strong shepherd knows the details of any situation. Only He knows exactly what should be done in any situation. Abuse of ANY kind is NOT ok with YHWH our Father and Savior according to His Word and NOTHING is hidden from Him! If you have been taught in any church setting that YHWH approved of ANY form of abuse toward his daughters then please know you have been decieved!
Women were not created to be slaves, trash-cans for the wrongs in the world, toys, doormats or objects of possession or oppression! Neither are any other humans of ANY race, sex or economical background.
